acceptance, affection, bonding, brother, coming out, dad, faith, family, ftm, God, happiness, human righs, lgbt rights, lgbti, life, love, miles tanhira, naming, parents, peace, self-care, transgender, transman
The other day my therapist asked how far i was going with coming out to my family about my transition, i hadn’t done it and i was not in the mood for discussing it because somehow it made me feel vulnerable.
SO I did what i do best when feeling that way, i brushed off the question and spoke about something else instead. After a few minutes of listening to me rumbling and mumbling, she wouldn’t budge she stubbornly came back to the question but in a very subtle way.
From that moment i knew this is something i still had to do, whether i like it or not a day will come when i will have to say something , be it through this blog, a letter or a phone call.
Reflecting on why i was finding it so hard to just let my family in on my journey, it hit me that i was wrong.. In hoping for a special event when i can have a discussion with my dad and share with him about my transition, i am failing to see and appreciate that he is already on this journey with me. We may not be at the same pace or have the same understanding but my family is walking with me.
Whether its’ painful, confusing or worrying for them, they are still doing it. For example my dad has for the past months started calling me Miles at least when he is talking to me or when we are chatting on the phone.This for me is HUGE.. i actually realised he is transitioning with me. Just as i have been patient with myself, i also need to be patient with my family and appreciate the effort being made.
Knowing my dad as a man with a huge ego and pride, it must take a lot for him to let go of the name he gave me, and use the name i gave myself without even resisting or questioning. He is not one to show love and affetion either, but lately he has been telling me he loves me. Lord knows i’ve waited and always wanted to hear these words from him.
Whether we get the opportunity to talk about the name change and so many other changes,or not, just this love, acceptance and respect from my family especially my Dad means so much to me. This gives me the strength to go through this journey knowing that i do not walk alone,my God and family are with me.